What a Girl!

Today is full of reflection and praise as I think about Avery. This week has been a tough one for both of my girls' behavior. I've found myself in an almost constant struggle to control my temper and frustration, as they've pushed all the buttons they could think of. I know this is a very typical issue with moms of preschool-ish age children (maybe just of moms of any age). However, my optimism often gets me hoping for good behavior and I'm frequently disappointed!

Our trip to the dentist was a milestone for us today. It was the first time she didn't SCREAM for, I'm not kidding, the entire office to hear - and it's a very large office. A couple of months ago, she observed Allie at the dentist and was shocked at how calm her younger sister was. Since then, she's been saying she can't wait to go to the dentist to show how good she can be. Dear friends, this is such a mark of maturity in my daughter! I have been plagued with her apprehensions in so many areas, the dentist being a big one. I watched as she struggled through her x-rays, wanting to cry, but fighting through it! I watched as she let the hygienist floss her teeth and didn't hear a peep from her. Needless to say, I'm quite proud (and relieved).

And now, the meat of my struggle today: KINDERGARTEN! This week we got her teacher assignment, I bought her school supplies, and she is shopping for a backpack with her Nana this afternoon. Since she was born, we've prayed about which avenue we would walk down in our children's education. For the last year we have been very actively seeking where God wants us to send her. I've asked so many moms, teachers, called schools, and observed classrooms, always taking it back to the Lord and asking Him to lead us and prepare us for what He wants. Maybe you feel this is way too much worrying for one little mom to do, but this is who I am and something I care a lot about. In the end, the public school is where she is going, we know this is very much His plan, and it's going to be GREAT!

So, as our week has been a bit of a disaster in the area of behavior, I began to feel a little panic come on. I'm not finished with all of my training! She's not perfect yet! My daughter is still fighting her sin nature and is not ready to be a part of "the world"! Even as I think these thoughts, I hear God's voice of perfect reason: who is my child's Savior? Is it mom's job to save and perfect her? Obviously I know the answer to that. The Bible tells me that Christ is the author and perfector of our Faith - NOT our moms! I realize that much of my parenting says that I believe otherwise, though. I put so much pressure on myself to change every wrong behavior and direct my daughters' hearts toward Christ. A worthy goal, but not always possible.

Avery is now able to ride her two-wheeler. This took a lot of hard work on Mommy's part and a little bit of work from her. I was the one putting on my running shoes and jogging next to her the whole time. I was also the one taking the hit, catching her every time she was just about to fall. I have a scar on my shin to prove it. As she got better, I had to run a little farther away and give her the confidence to do it on her own - or she would never have learned. In the end, I had to start her off and watch her ride away, knowing she would fall! What a hard thing for a mom to do!! Yes, she fell several times, but she has yet to incur any injury other than a few minor bruises. So it is with life! As my children get older and step more into the world, I know there will be many opportunities to watch them fall. However, usually it's just a little bump and they get back up, having learned a little more how to stay on "the bike". And, really, thank you Lord that I'm not going to be running alongside her the whole time! Thank you that I can still observe, love, and bind her wounds when she does fall, but mothering isn't always the physical exhaustion that it's pretty much been so far. We'll step into this new stage holding onto Your Word and knowing You've already planned every step.

More Sleeping to Come (I hope!)

Just wanted to let you know that I will be doing my second daytime sleep study tomorrow (August 5). If you get a chance to, please pray that I can sleep for them! I think it will be better, now that I know what to expect. However, I know it's possible that I won't sleep, so your prayers would be appreciated. It would be nice to sleep, but I also pray that I will be calm and accept whatever happens with the whole ordeal. I know God controls the order of the planets, the rising of the sun, the growth of each blade of grass, and somewhere in the middle of all of that is my life and the direction of each day. No worries!

Udate on Complaining

I have to share with those who read my previous post about Avery's struggle with complaining. On the way home from Grandma Ginny's house (the day in which on the way to Grandma's house she said, "this is breaking my life"), she started to complain and I reminded her, yet again, that complaining is not allowed. Instead, we started singing the song "Rejoice in the Lord Always", taken from Philippians 4:4. She sang it the whole way home.

Yesterday we went to the coast for a day trip with all of our family who are in town visiting (from San Diego and Chicago). It was just the four of us in the car on the way over and Avery said to her daddy, "Daddy, do you want to know the lesson I learned?" Of course he did! She explained, "Not to complain! Last night in the car, Mommy reminded me not to complain and I didn't the whole way home!" We were shocked at the statement. I explained to her that instead of complaining, she sang God's Word about rejoicing and He gave her a joyful heart. It's hard to complain while you're rejoicing in the Lord! The four of us had a wonderful day at the beach and I give the credit to the Lord - placing in us a heart of rejoicing. It's amazing what God is able to do in our lives when we let Him!

What else are kids for?

What else are kids for, other than showing us our own blaring imperfections? Ok, I can think of a few other uses for my children, but this seems to be a big one that I keep coming back to. If I had never had children, I have a feeling I'd still be thinking more highly of myself, however disillusioned those thoughts would be. I read somewhere once, for example, parenting had turned a woman into a controlling person. The author suggested that parenting hadn't "turned" her into a controlling person, but simply brought to light what already existed.

My oldest, precious daughter seems to have a problem with being content lately. We have had numerous conversations about what the Bible says about complaining and arguing. Philippians 2:14 says, "Do everything without complaining or arguing so that you may be blameless and pure children of God." In the car on the way to Grandma's house, Avery was very tired yesterday. However, all she had to do is sit in her seat and play her Leapster. She whined and complained that it was taking so long to get there and seemed utterly miserable. The best quote to share with you was when she said, "This is breaking my life!" That's my expressive, passionate, verbal child for you...

As I read in Colossians this morning, I was reminded that I've been sounding a lot like my five year-old - only my whining as been directed to the Lord. As I heard myself pray, I realized that my prayer could have been reworded into Avery's phrase - "this is breaking my life"! How great is God's patience to hear my whining and complaining prayers and still listen! How wonderful are His mercies to continue to remind me, patiently teach me, and lovingly grow me. Colossians 1:11, after the verses before talk of increasing in knowledge of God and walking in manner worthy of Him, says "strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy;..." What a reminder that His "glorious power" is what strengthens me to be joyfully patient! Lord, forgive me for complaining. Renew a right spirit in me and let me allow your glorious power to strengthen me today.

Camping in the Backyard

Our good friends, Jennifer and Jonathan, asked us to go camping with them this summer. Unfortunately, it was a bit of a farewell event, since they are moving out of the state in just a few days! As it turned out, everyone else in Oregon had planned to camp, too, so there was no sites available. We made the most of the weekend and decided to camp in our backyard! Jen and Jon even pitched their tent and we all slept in the backyard. We had such a good time! In the morning, we got up and went hiking at Silver Creek Falls after breakfast.

This is one of my favorite camping traditions - Jiffy Pop over the fire.

Jonathan is so great with the girls. They immediately took to both Jennifer and Jonathan and talk about them all of the time. Allie's always looking for a welcome lap to sit in.

SMORES!

This is one of the falls to see at Silver Creek Falls. It's so beautiful!


I know this looks terrible! Allie just can't seem to stay out of trouble! I don't know how many times she biffed it near the water. This time Jennifer had to wring out Allie's skirt. Poor kid!
Jennifer and Raleigh are pals...We're so sad to be saying goodbye to our friends! They are so great with our kids and have been such a blessing to get to know. They have so much to offer and I know they'll make wonderful friends wherever they go, but I'm sad to lose them. Hopefully we'll get to stay in touch and visit someday!

Grocery Store Fiasco

Why do I care what strangers think? How is it that I can love my kids so passionately, yet get so ANGRY at them???? I took Avery to ballet today, while Allie played with her cousin, Roderick. Afterwards, we rested and played with our cousins for a little bit and then headed to the grocery store. Disaster!!!!! I can't remember a worse trip to the store with those two kids. Now that I look back at it, I can't put my finger on everything that got me riled at them - probably because the incidents were too numerous to count. It was one of those trips when you know all the grown-ups watching feel sorry for you - that does nothing for my pride. I'm trying all my tactics - "do you think God would be happy with your behavior right now?" and, "before you do something, think about if you're allowed to do it or not". The latter phrase was uttered just before Allie went RUNNING far away from the register where I had half of my items already on the conveyor belt and the lady behind me was so interested to see how I was going to handle it. So, I (after I had chased Allie down) gathered both the girls and hugged them, needing to remind myself how much I love them.

What is it about being a mother that makes me think I need to be in control of their behavior at every moment? Am I allowed to ignore any bad behavior, or do I need to be super-training-discipline mom 24/7? Obviously, I need to be able to take my children to the store and have them listen to my voice and obey my words. There have been so many times that I've felt defeated as a mom. I start to sense my disillusionment that some other mom seems to have figured out how to train all the "naughtiness" out of her children. When I come to the Lord, I'm reminded that He's given me everything I need for life and godliness; His strength is made perfect in my weakness (lots of opportunities for that!); and that there is no temptation such that is common to man that He has not provided a way out (including my struggles with impatience, selfishness, and dare I say, anger?). Oh - and that His mercies are new every morning - great is His faithfulness!

But I can still count the minutes until two little munchkins will be sleeping peacefully in their beds and I will be able to catch my breath. Oh - and I ate a Twix bar on my way home from the grocery store! :)

County Fair

My good friend, Emily, and I took our kids to the Marion County Fair recently. Our main goal was to see the wiener dog races, since we both own Dachshunds. We had so much fun! This is Brynn, Blake, Avery, and Allie on a fire truck.Watching a magic show. It reminded me of one of Avery's regular prayers, "Thank you, Lord, that magic isn't real." She liked it, though! My angels in a police car - bit of a scary thought!Emily and I, both being very cheap people, refused to buy tickets for a ride. However, a very nice woman walked up to us and gave us just enough tickets for all the kids to have one ride! They picked the blue airplanes.Blake and Avery are such good friends! Emily and I are thinking we're going to have plenty of material if we ever have the need to put together a wedding slide show for the two of them! Boy, would I have some cute grandkids!Avery loves the smell of the petting zoo...Waiting for the wiener dog races to start.Get along, little doggies! This was really fun. Next year we'll bring Scooby and Raleigh.What a blessing to have such good friends!